Today’s vehicles can be equipped with myriad of cool add-ons from LED accent lights, cooled seats, refrigerated cubby/console for drinks (really, does your home not have a fridge or are you simply a mobile 7-11?), self contained vacuum systems, and park assist features just to name a few. All of those are now obsolete. Let me just say that again for effect, obsolete. And why? Because we’ve been shown the future in automotive accessorizing. And that future is Trunk Monkey. Let it sink in for a moment. Trunk Monkey. The origins of this accessory started with a Subaru enthusiasts group back in 2001-2002. I know because I bought a hat and coffee mug featuring the Trunk Monkey from that Subaru group in New England. The premise is that your new vehicle would be equipped with a simian stored in your trunk, and would be deployed to deal with a variety of scenarios from delivering your first child, to preventing precocious children from pelting your vehicle with vegetables or preventing more nefarious things from happening to your vehicle. Suburban Auto Group in Oregon gets most of the recognition for these ads featuring trunk monkey that aired during Super Bowl. Anyway I think we can all agree this would be a highly desirable feature if not one requiring additional training for every owner.
I think we know the real reason this idea will never make it to the showroom. And that is how to keep the monkey in the trunk alive in your trunk from the factory until someone takes delivery, right? Oh well, back to the drawing board. I can tell you it makes more sense than ejector seats.